Imagine Me Without You
by Amaya And Aiko no Akatsuki
Summary: "I'm not insane," she told herself; her hands were trembling, their sallow image wavering as her tears spilled over her lashes. "I'm not insane. You exist. You're real." Sasori's heartbeat faltered just slightly as he watched her sob atop his desk, and he set his hands atop her shoulders as if it would somehow help. "Whoever said you were?"
1. Chapter 1

**Imagine Me Without You**

**Summary: **_Depression was an ugly thing. It was one of the heaviest burdens a person could carry alone, and Sakura had it. As her marriage crumbles between her fingers and she deals with the lost of her child, Sakura is forced to call her sanity into question. But then she meets a man who changes her sense of reality, and she realizes just how complicated life could be when harboring an affair._

**Amaya's Note: **Well, as you can see I've changed the summary of this story, and I've gone back and edited it since it was all over the place! There was no real plot to this story, and it bothered me. So, here it is—all edited and revised! I hope you enjoy!

**Original Update Date: **April 11, 2013

**This chapter has been revised as of October 6, 2013.**

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**…**

**Rating: **_Mature (see warnings below)_

**Characters/Pairing: **_Sasori X Sakura; minor Naruto X Sakura and Sasuke X Sakura_

**Themes: **_Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Romance, Angst, Mystery_

**Warnings: **_Strong language, mature situations, possible sexual content, secondary affairs  
>and psychological questioning<em>

**…**

**.**

** E**

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**…**

Rhythmic, repetitive—a dull drone of bothersome ticks played against her ears.

The clock continued its tedious routine throughout the passing moments, so exact, so slow. And the room seemed to glow with an otherworldly smolder of silvery artificial light, flickering briefly with the television screen's quick transitions. Time seemed boundless and protracted, ebbing away at Sakura's patience almost mockingly, and it _killed _her.

She could say she sat in silence, but that would be a lie.

The heavy rain offered percussion to the lyrics burning beyond her imagination, rapping against the glass pane of her windows in an attempt to soothe her growing annoyance.

And she was alone.

She wasn't supposed to be like this—lonely and terrified of the passage of time. Her dreams once consisted of luxury and the warm caress of undying love; and she once imagined the smiles of animated children as they wrapped their arms around her full hips. And when she closed her eyes, she could smell—_feel_—the sterile burn of a blue-speckled floor of the hospital as she walked past the blue-scrubbed nurses, her own white coat fluttering with her graceful passage.

Death would come in a time too far away from her fingers, when her hair thinned white and her eyes dulled blue; sometime after her children grew tall and pregnant.

But as time went on, misery marred the once beautiful features of her fair expression and aged her by a few years. She no longer grinned at the tales of rumor her best friend spoke of, or blushed at the kisses her husband set upon her neck; and her days were full of monotonous tasks to shield her imagination of "what ifs" and "once upon a time".

She wasn't extraordinary in nearly every sense of the word: she came from a tiny prefecture in Ota, Tokyo where the trees wound into the architecture of the brick and glass. And she graduated from proficient classes with little difficulty on her part—top of her class as well. She loved and coddled, helped those who needed her attention despite past transgressions; and she married a man who once showered her in gifts.

And as time went on, her belly grew.

Her excitement made her swoon with adoration; her parents cried so happily and her husband would look at her with eyes full of such love that it made her cheeks burn and heart pound, and he would hum to her: _"I love you"_.

He would do it over and over again as he kissed her belly, and he would cherish her as if she were a heavenly gift.

But when the spring came and blossoms bloomed, the spellbinding kick of her child stopped. His heart ceased within her womb, his body curled within himself, and he left the world before his life could even start. He had died for reasons unknown to either of them—something about stress on her uterus, if she thought back to the doctor's somber words—and it became a loss too great to recover.

For many days, maybe even weeks, they mourned. Sakura hid herself beneath the covers of her bed with a stuffed bear wound beneath her arms and chin, and she wept until she lost her breath for the day. No one could slake the pain in her trembling heart, not even her best friends and any attempt at consolation had failed with her vicious fits of anguish. And her devout husband seemed to vanish from existence with how often he stayed away from home. He stayed in the homes of his high-school pals on Friday nights and spent his hours working late enough to avoid her company. Rumors of wicked affairs had reached her ears not too long after, and despite the overwhelming tug of her heart's belief, Sakura forced herself to smile within his embrace.

When confronted, he would deny every rumor and offer her a tired smile. But on those nights where depression lingered above her head and her temples pounded with her growing hangover, they would argue for hours and hours until he finally took his leave.

_"You're insane," _he would always say, and that statement alone would silence her, put an end to their fights. And he would leave.

Maybe there was truth behind his words—maybe she was insane for believing the rumors, for seeing shadows that may or may not be there, but could she be blamed?

She wanted to be a doctor once, a surgeon actually; but how could she save another's life when she couldn't even sustain her own?

**.**

**…**

**_Imagine Me Without You_**

**…**

**.**

The abrupt purr of a familiar engine had woke her from her silent daze; and the heavy _slam _of the car door alerted her of just how close she was to another night of vehemence.

She counted the seconds as they ticked by, her fingers idly drumming over the surface of her armrest and her knees crossed, and she steeled the nervous pulsation of her heart just as the door crept open. Blonde hair came into view—so golden in color that it seemed unreal—and the shuffling of his movements made her heart race.

_So close; he's so close._

"Sakura-chan, what are you doing up this late," he asked her, his head tilting with his confusion. She didn't answer at first; instead opting to take a slow sip of her sake as her eyes roamed over the creases in his shirt, then let her eyelids flutter close as her husband set his palms against her cheek.

He smelled so deliciously of cologne—a summery sort of scent that Sakura couldn't quite pinpoint—and his blue, blue eyes flickered with his worry.

"Are you alright?"

"Where have you been, Naruto?"

The intonation of her words was indifferent to match the casual lift of her brow, but the fire within her eyes betrayed her composure. Naruto quickly grasped the meaning hiding beneath her words, and he gave an exasperated sigh. "I was with Kiba-baka," he insisted, "we went to the bar."

_The same excuse every time._

He could see her thoughts in her eyes, the accusation in her stare; Naruto dropped his head in frustration and curled his fingers into a fist so tight that the color drained from his knuckles. "Sakura, when will you drop it?"

"When will you prove me wrong," she shot back. "If you can prove me wrong, if you can physically show me that I'm wrong, then I'll stop accusing you."

"Fine, I'll have Hinata come and—"

"Do you think I'll believe a word she says? Of course she'll deny everything."

"Then what do you want me to do Sakura? Have a camera follow me everywhere I go," he questioned, his voice rising ever so slightly in annoyance, and Sakura flinched away from him. Seeing her move away so fearfully made Naruto's heart freeze over, and regret made him turn his gaze elsewhere. He moved away from her to give her the comfort of breathing space then gently took her hand in his. "Get some rest Sakura. You need it."

Sakura kept her lips pursed and slowly stood from her self-induced war.


	2. Chapter 2

**Imagine Me Without You**

**Summary: **_Depression was an ugly thing. It was one of the heaviest burdens a person could carry alone, and Sakura had it. As her marriage crumbles between her fingers and she deals with the lost of her child, Sakura is forced to call her sanity into question. But then she meets a man who changes her sense of reality, and she realizes just how complicated life could be when harboring an affair._

**Review Replies (From Amaya)**

_**Indigo Mirror: **__Thanks for the support, hun. I've had such a hard time working out these chapters, and your approval is very much appreciated._

_**Guest: **__I'm glad you feel more in tune with Sakura's character. I never really had a plot for this story, but now that I do, I think this story will flow a lot better._

_**Sakura-and-Nami: **__Thank you for yet another review, Sakura-chan!_

_**Clumsy0132: **__Sorry for the long-due reply; you're probably not even reading this story anymore but no, Sakura does not have a child. That was an error on my translator's behalf. When I first wrote the story all those years ago, I wrote and spoke only Japanese, and had a translator write out my story. Now that I am very fluent in the language, I have improved in my writing._

_**WinterluvNaruto: **__I wish to thank you for your response to my story; please read the reply above. _

_**Sakura-Hime Uchiha Loves KPOP: **__Thank you for the review!_

_**BlackAnimeRose14: **__I'm glad you like my story; and I appreciate your commentary._

_**Black Snake Eyes: **__I hope you're pleased with the progress._

_**Ikillatfirstsight: **__Well, I don't really think DeiSaku fits in this storyline, but I'll think about it!_

_**BeautifulTreachery: **__I'm so glad you anticipated this story so much! I'm flattered._

_**XxMeishaxX: **__Thank you!_

_**Alexandrine Jennings: **__Thank you for your review, hun!_

_**MissPrez2007: **__I intend to!_

_**Uchiha Yuki-chan: **__No, it is not complete yet!_

_**Baby Scorpion: **__I'm glad you do!_

_**Sakura-cherrytree: **__Thank you so much for your support, hun. I'm flattered that you enjoy my stories so much! Also, thank you for the baby names _

_**Uchiha Mizore: **__Aiko wishes to thank you for your support, but is sorry to report that their baby did not make it._

**.**

_**...**_

_**Author: **__Amaya  
><em>_**Editor: **__Aiko__**  
>Rating: <strong>__Mature (see warnings below)__**  
>CharactersPairing: **__[Sasori Sakura]; [minor Naruto Sakura]; [minor Sasuke Sakura]__**  
>Themes: <strong>__Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Romance, Angst, Mystery__**  
>Warnings: <strong>__Strong language, mature situations, possible sexual content, secondary affairs and psychological questioning_

_**…**_

**CHAPTER TWO**

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_Lonely—so terribly lonely, and unbearably bitter _

The days that passed had been full of emptiness—there was no laughter to warm her belly or gentle fingers easing against her tired flesh. All there was was cold shoulders and painful bouts of ignorance between their soft gazes of longing.

And Sakura felt miserable, terrible; absolutely cruel in all rights.

The confidence behind her heart wavered with the passing of time, instead replaced by the haphazard shadows of her regret. Naruto wouldn't look at her, or touch her; he tried once, but she slapped his hands away and cried for him to leave her breathing space.

Guilt shadowed every muscle within her body, slowing her casual steps into a lethargic amble that made time seem to linger more so than per usual.

She just wanted to stay away, to hide away from the painful twists and turns of the air around her; to avoid the condemnatory gazes of everyone and no one. But she was too afraid of the dark to hide alone.

**.**

**...**

_**Imagine Me Without You**_

**...**

**.**

It was loud.

There were people everywhere, walking as if they owned the air rights to the city. Kimono, uniforms, business suits—it was all the same to her—creating an undulating sea of blacks and whites in a never ending corridor of shadows and mirrors.

Had the streets always been this bleak?

They'd been walking all over the place looking for a job before they stumbled up a bench in front of Kasumi's school. Ino said it would have kept her busy, that it would help take her mind off things, but she wasn't quite sure. She went along with it, though, and managed to collect a rather hefty pile of applications in their work.

To the left of her, Ino gave a low hum to catch her wandering thoughts, and the blonde rested her head against Sakura's shoulder. "I'm so tired," she sighed, and brought her frigid hands to fold across her chest.

"So am I," Sakura agreed as she rubbed her knuckles over her darkened eyelids. She hadn't slept quite well in some amount of time—a few days, she supposed—and the gray smudges of slumber lacked had fallen into the crests of her reddened cheeks. It had been raining quite a bit lately, and the heavy percussion following the incandescent, purple lightning had done a rather amusing time keeping her awake. And she had been alone, again, as her husband honored her desire for isolation a little too enthusiastically than Sakura expected.

Whatever Ino said after that had gone unnoticed as Sakura found herself being forced through the meandering crowd by her blonde haired friend, and into the warmth of a cinnamon-scented coffee shop. Warm colors greeted the duo's view upon entrance, accentuated by the natural light spilling through the large windows and the twinkling Christmas lights; and the prattle of its clique seemed more like a cello than bothersome nattering.

Thankful for the heat provided, Sakura sighed contently and slipped the mittens from her paling fingers, then followed Ino to a table somewhere inside the busy establishment. And they hadn't been there for more than a few moments' passing before a server sauntered over.

"I'll take a medium caramel macchiato," Ino quickly purred, "and my friend will have a medium spiced mocha."

Without much of a response, the young lady smiled and left to make their drinks, leaving the pair to their own workings. Having Ino around proved worthwhile, as she was more than helpful in filling out the stack of applications. But when the hour passed and the soft whine of a school bell caught their ears, Ino excused herself for just a moment—to pick up her beloved daughter—leaving Sakura alone.

There was a pattern behind her thoughts, shadowing her movements. One, two, one, two—_R comes before S—S-A-K-U-R-A_.

_What is your level of education?—Two years of university_

_What (if applicable) is your degree/did you major in?—Tokyo Medical and Dental University; pharmacy technician._

Answers writ themselves across the many slips of papers, for Sakura barely had a chance to even think of an answer to display. So quickly, so fluidly, the letters spilled across the pages without so much as a pause in wait, and she supposed it was a good idea.

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

Her eyes flickered away from the papers splayed around her, catching the gaze of a man standing just before her. He was handsome—terribly so—with crimson hair that spilled against his cheeks and neck, and golden-honey eyes so dark in apathy. His stare seemed to pierce through her defenses, and it worried her quite enough to make her flinch away from him, but she offered a polite smile anyway.

"Y-yes?"

"Are you looking for a job," he asked her. When she nodded, he sifted through the bag slung around his shoulder, then pressed a sheet of paper onto the table before she could sputter out a question of _how did you know?_ "We have an opening at my studio; I usually don't offer the job to strangers but you appear to own a strong head, so be there tomorrow at 3 PM, asking for Fuuma Pein. Don't be late."

He turned away, not even bothering to spare her a second glance, and he was gone so quickly, that he almost seemed to be another figment of her imagination.

**.**

**...**

_**Imagine Me Without You**_

**...**

**.**

The door to her apartment opened without much more than a faint, protesting groan. There was no resistance, really, or a struggle to get through; only a sound. Curling aromas of foods she couldn't quite place wafted into Sakura's nose, forcing her belly to undulate with sudden arousal.

"Sakura, is that you?"

Naruto's voice carried over the hissing steam and the boiling broth—_so warm, so gentle_—and a smile formed across her lips before she could even process her thoughts. "I'm home."

As she slipped her arms from her coat and turned into the kitchen, Sakura was greeted with a lovely splay of foods arranged around their table. Her husband still wore a robe—stained with sauces and oil, she assumed—and he so slowly ambled towards her, as if fearful of causing fright.

"Are you feeling alright," he tested, cautiously as he brought his hands to rest atop her tensing shoulders.

"I feel better."

Her words seemed to bring life into the flickering lights above, for Naruto pressed his lips against her own; he was so careful with her, so timid that it made Sakura's breath waver at his affectionate intent, and she brought her hand to rest atop his blushing cheek.

"I made dinner."

She snickered as she rested her head within the dip of Naruto's chest, and she purred, "I can see that, baka."

Naruto gave a hum in response, his hands gently caressing the rise f her shoulder blades in an attempt to ease away whatever ache she may have had, and he brought his lips against her temples. "I love you."

"Thank you, Naruto-kun. I love you too."


End file.
